


It's a Wonderful Life

by EllieMurasaki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s06e17 My Heart Will Go On, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-16
Updated: 2011-04-16
Packaged: 2017-10-18 04:39:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/185083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieMurasaki/pseuds/EllieMurasaki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Dean still has occasional flashes of memory from the life where he grew up with parents and a little sister.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a Wonderful Life

Dean still has occasional flashes of memory from the life where he grew up with parents and a little sister. He's learned to ignore those moments: they're so different than what he knows that it's easily accomplished. Remembering the difference between the life where the Titanic didn't sink and the life where it did is difficult. The 'sixty-five Mustang has the same _home_ feel as the 'sixty-seven Impala, and Dean's memories of talking John into buying a car other than the Mystery Machine are equally clear. Dean vividly recalls being best man at Ellen and Bobby's wedding and escorting Jo down the aisle (Sam lost rock-paper-scissors), and only vaguely remembers Sammy practicing a presentation for school in which he concluded the Titanic sank due to stupidity and greed. In the 'real' past, Dean never slept with Jo, but his memories of having done so are as frequently gone to for jerk-off material as his memories of Lisa.

One of the fifty thousand people lost when the 'fake' past went away was Ben's father. Not biologically, Dean's all but certain, but Ron was more of a father to Ben than Dean was, and stuck around longer, too. Dean remembers moving into a one-room apartment in Cicero because there was no room for him at Lisa's, remembers Azazel walking into the apartment before Sam drove a needle through Azazel into Dean, remembers fighting djinn in the building's stairwell. These aren't happier memories for Dean, but they're happier for Lisa and Ben, Dean thinks.

Fifty _thousand_. Best guess. And who knows how many more lives were saved because Ellen and Jo lived? How many died because Ellen and Jo weren't there to save them, because Castiel was there to save Sam and Dean? Hell, even if the only people who would have lived had Castiel let Sam and Dean die were Ellen and Jo, sign Dean up for dying, and he's sure Sam would say the same.

What was Castiel _thinking_ , undoing what Balthazar did?

(It's not _actually_ because Castiel's in love with Dean and knows Dean can't live without Sam, is it?)

Fucking wonderful life.


End file.
